Musicwithinyou

Musicwithinyou

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

my sins my body



My Sins My Body

my eyes open another day to face my sins
unhidden, i wear my sins like shackles
bonded to my bones
rusted chains hanging for all to see
like trophies
i stand naked before this mirror 
my sins stare back at me
my flesh and bones can't take these chains 
no more
i hear screams from hungry children
for i have stolen food from their mouths

i am
my body my sins
my sins my body

i must face them each waking day 
while the hourglass drinks the sand down,
a bottomless pit it seems.
my thoughts spin out of control
my fist wants to shatter the hourglass
for it is only half empty now
a starved child i am, hungry i am not
tell me, is this pleasure or is this pain?

i am
my body my sins
my sins my body

for every sin i have indulged 
i must undo every chain
miles and miles  
faster and faster 
up and up
hour after hour
for each sin i have done
they bleed from my flesh and bones

i am
my body  my sins
my sins my body

the longing it taunts me so
my soul can not breathe
i want to break this hourglass
so my soul can breathe.
new sins are now dancing like a flame
in front of me 
so i close my eyes to escape them
the hourglass is empty now
but i open my eyes to find the hourglass
full once more
and i must face my sins another day


by Elizabeth D'Haese



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6 comments:

  1. Steven CainOctober 11, 2012 at 2:52 AM

    Well done Elizabeth... I know you've been working on this a while... it all came out very nicely.

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    1. musicwithinyouOctober 12, 2012 at 4:02 PM

      Thank you Steven, it was hard me to express how i feel about trying to lose weight, so i hope i was able to do so in this poem

      Delete
  2. James OwensOctober 18, 2012 at 11:14 AM

    this is brave!! i think you should be as proud of the process of self-discovery that made it possible for you to write this, as of the effort that you have put into losing weight. i don't think the weight-loss would be possible, or at least would not last, without the honesty -- i think it is a deepening of self, a clarity about where you are within your own life, and this will echo into the future in very good ways ... well done, liz :-)))

    .

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    Replies
    1. musicwithinyouOctober 18, 2012 at 6:54 PM

      James,

      I am not so sure I'm brave but I have discovered deep down things I never thought I could achieve.

      We all face each day things that seem to hold us captive in one way or another.

      Thank you for encouraging me to keep trying :))

      Delete
  3. erinNovember 4, 2012 at 7:12 AM

    first of all, liz, i see you and you are beautiful. (brave, yes. we are brave when we are honest.) what an incredible photograph. i will listen to your recording later and perhaps there are more photos. i'm not sure. right now i consider the one you begin with.

    i don't know your story, your deeper story of your relationship with your body but whatever it is you are obviously deepening your well.

    i know my relationship with food, with all sorts of consuming, and i only hope to be thoughtful about it now, where in my past i have not been. as a society i hope this for us, mindfulness while we consume, while keeping in mind that all of our bodies are beautiful, no matter our size or proportions. we are all perfect, imperfections included. (this is a difficult bit to swallow, i know but perhaps the most important one.)

    know yourself and love your body in all your transformations.))))

    this is a wonderful project that all women and men, boys and girls should see. we should all be aware of real bodies. http://thenuproject.com/ (i wish there were more older women a part of this project.)

    xo
    erin

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  4. musicwithinyouNovember 5, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    Thank you Erin for kind words about my photo. This was the only photo I used. Maybe next time I will use more then one.

    Yes as a society we need to understand a better relationship with how we eat and like everything else in this world we tend to not understand that we can abuse it.

    Food for me was my choice of drug (away to look at it)

    I consumed things are high in calories and considered unhealthy. Food was my way of coping with my issues in life.

    Now my body paid the price, but yes we are all prefect no matter our size but I'm tired of being rejected by men because of my looks.

    This is not my true reasons why I'm finally confronting my weight but it hurts knowing a guy doesn't want you because of it.

    Thank you for the web site. I will have to check it out.

    E.

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